Controlled Chaos
by Jason-xx
Summary: <html><head></head>Entries from the private journal of Asami Ryuichi.</html>
1. Chapter 1

_. _

** ** **思考** ** **

**I**t is an important thing in business to avoid the involvement of emotions. I've watched people make serious errors when they let their emotions overrule common sense. I've seen even more people gain advantage by provoking strong emotions in others. As I've gotten older, I've learned that any emotional involvement- - whether it be in business or in my personal life- - is like trying to handle a poisonous two-headed snake without getting bitten.

Back at the age of 28, I made the mistake of stirring up someone else's emotions to achieve my own ends. Ironically, as I was warning him about the dangers of giving in to unnecessary emotions, I was in over my head myself.

No, it wasn't love- - not that ridiculous emotion. I'm not quite sure what it was. A young man who was called Fei Long- the "Flying Dragon"- - had much potential, but was slowly being crushed by his unstable foster family. He possessed a brilliant inner fire that first drew me to him. I thought I could give him the push he needed to break free, but I did not expect to be thwarted by his foster-brother, Yan Tsui. Yan's possessiveness and wild jealousy of Fei Long, drove him to gun down his own father in cold blood.

Nor did I suspect I would be betrayed by Fei Long's true father, Tou, who had tasked me with "rescuing" his son from the Liu Family- - only to reveal later that his true motive was to permanently remove Fei Long from ever becoming a threat to him.

The Dragon's wings had been cut off. Now grounded, he refused any help, preferring instead to wither away in prison. At that point I should have washed my hands of the whole distasteful ordeal, but I arranged for one of my own to watch over him anyway. Why did I do that, I wonder? Fei Long was obviously a lost cause.

Perhaps I was curious if that inner fire of his could be ignited once again. To watch him rise again- - not as a dragon, but as a phoenix born from the ashes of its own destruction. I would have relished seeing that.

I'm being sentimental, aren't I? What a useless emotion.

I made it a point to avoid any potential emotional entanglements after that. Those within my inner circle would have me marry and produce an heir. I have no interest in this, as I do not believe bloodlines guarantee a worthy heir. The Liu family is evidence of that.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

The years passed by. Before I realized it, I had reached the age of 35- - although at times I felt much older. Life had become routine. I was considered a success in the business world. As for my other world, let's just say it has its occasional challenges. It is a continuous cycle of power struggles and I was presently the target of one now. In a rather bold move, an unknown gang was attempting a territorial takeover. They bought off one of my managers and then had him arrange for a Diet member's secretary to be photographed buying drugs at one of my clubs. The real intention was to damage my reputation by exposing my ties to the underworld.

I used my connections- - along with several costly bribes- - to keep the photos and the story from being published. Despite this, multiple warrants were issued to search my property. We tracked down the photographer, a young man by the name of Takaba Akihito, in an attempt to discover the identity of the informant. Takaba proved to be a tough kid. Not only did he resist giving us any information, but he managed to break loose from my two assistants, Kirishima and Suoh. That was a rather impressive feat in itself, now that I look back on it; but at the time I only remember being annoyed at the inconvenience he was causing us. We thought we had him once we cornered him on the roof of a high building, but he escaped from us.

By jumping off the roof.

I was unnerved that this kid had foolishly thrown his life away so carelessly. I looked over the edge of the building expecting to see his broken body on the sidewalk below, but instead I saw him clinging precariously to a sign on the side of the building. Caught by surprise, I couldn't help laughing as he boldly taunted me. A crowd began to form below him, so we were forced to retreat before anyone could take note of our presence.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Further digging revealed that Takaba was acquainted with a detective by the name of Yamazaki who worked in the organized crime division. We were certain Yamazaki was the one tipping off the photographer, but we needed to find out who was passing on that information to Yamazaki. We arranged for fake information to reach Yamazaki's ears about a large drug shipment that would be coming in at one of the container warehouses. No doubt he would tip off the photographer again. I planned to kidnap Takaba. Once Yamazaki discovered his pet photographer had disappeared, I had no doubt he would go looking for the informant himself... and my men would be following close behind.

As for the young photographer, he would soon receive a lesson from me he would never forget. I was looking forward to it. The kid had awakened something in me that had been asleep for a while now. I hadn't felt that kind of exhilaration in a long time. And it had been a while since I last laughed out loud.

How rare.

He was a surprising creature. His physique was much to my taste, although that dyed hair of his- - along with the defiant attitude- - was not. I would never allow someone like that to treat me with such insolence.

The dyed hair and the defiant attitude... how interesting. I just felt that surge of exhilaration again. I must find something attractive about it after all.

Of course I can't allow myself to be distracted by petty desires.

I will crush that rebellious attitude of his.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

My men were not only investigating Yamazaki, but they had also done some surveillance of Takaba as well. Other than his work and drinking with a couple of his friends occasionally, he didn't seem to have much of a life. There wasn't a girlfriend. One of his friends, by the name of Koh, had a habit of spontaneously hitting on females. The other, named Takato, had a fiancée. They were concerned that Takaba showed no interest in finding anyone, even asking in a roundabout way if he might perhaps be gay. After responding to that in a violent manner, Takaba told them that he had no interest in relationships, and could not see what the big deal was about sex.

The poor boy had a very low libido. What a shame. Therefore, I decided the best way to punish him would be to sexually humiliate him by treating him as a submissive. BDSM play was also something I had not indulged in, for a very long time.

The fake drug deal scheme went off as expected and I soon had Takaba Akihito in my possession. I had set up an improvised "S/M dungeon" in an abandoned warehouse office, not far from where we caught him.

To work around his low libido, I planned to use stimulants on him, known as "poppers".

It was gratifying to watch the shame grow on his face once he regained consciousness and realized he was restrained, with his most intimate parts exposed and on display for me. There are several variations of BDSM play and I introduced him to them, one after another, in an effort to break him. But even in the midst of some of the more hardcore acts, he held on and remained defiant.

And then, after a long while... finally a crack.

I don't think it was any one thing that I did- - just that my persistence had finally worn him down. The defiance in those bright eyes of his began to fade. Suddenly, I had no urge to take it any further. His tears stirred something deep inside me, and now my desire was to comfort him. I kissed him and he responded with enthusiasm; although it was likely against his will, caused by the influence of the stimulants. The long session had left me so strongly aroused that I couldn't resist taking him right then. He was already sore from the abuse I had given him earlier- - it's always painful the first time a man is penetrated anyway, so there was no helping it- - but I still tried to ease him into it. His whimpers from the pain mixed with occasional moans of pleasure were an intoxicating combination but I still stayed in control.

Until Akihito cried out for me to take him harder, deeper... begging for me to make him come.

When I am acting in the role of a Dom, there are certain rules I follow. I always remain fully clothed when I am with a sub. I stay cold, cruel and in control as I provide pain and pleasure. I never risk becoming intimately involved by having sex with a sub, and I certainly would never have an orgasm in a sub's presence.

I broke all the rules that night.

Regrets?

I have none.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

It took a couple of days before Yamazaki made a move. Meanwhile, I held onto Akihito.

I had clearly crossed the line with him, so I avoided touching him again after that. I kept him well-fed and comfortable. Well, as comfortable as you can get being handcuffed to a pole. At first he was in a rather foul mood, which was made worse by a nasty headache- - an aftereffect of the drug I had used on him. He was quite lively with his curses toward me. I was pleased to see that this wild animal had not been tamed. Once he quieted down, I tried to educate him on the mistakes he made that had gotten him into this situation. Number one on the list was that he was far too trusting.

We learned there was no informant. Yamazaki was being paid directly by a rival yakuza group to assist them in my takedown.

We discovered Yamazaki had a young daughter that required expensive medical treatment- - costing more than a detective's pay could handle. That's what first drove him to strike a deal with the yakuza. However, it had been more than a year since the daughter's surgery, and she was fully recovered. The lure of easy money is difficult to resist once you get a taste of it. It seems he could not break the habit.

Now that I had this information, there was no need for me to detain Akihito any longer. I released him on the morning of the third day.

Within minutes after I released him, I received a call from Kirishima informing me that Yamazaki had been spotted in the area, meeting with the yakuza group. If Akihito was seen by them now, there would likely be trouble. I told my assistant to call the police and warn them that one of their own was working with yakuza, and was about to take down one of their informants. The last thing I wanted to do was to involve the police, but the chances were not good that Akihito would survive if I attempted to bring in my own men and ended up provoking a turf war. I grabbed my gun and went looking for Akihito.

It didn't take long for me to locate him. Unfortunately, he had already run into Yamazaki. I stayed in the shadows and listened to their conversation. Ever trusting, Akihito did not want to believe that Yamazaki was involved with yakuza, but he promised he wouldn't say anything, regardless. After all, the detective had been looking after him since he was a teenager.

Yamazaki's response was to pull a gun on Akihito. Damn him!

I knocked Akihito out of the way and fired at Yamazaki, hitting the hand that held the gun. It was fortunate for him the police were on their way; otherwise, I would have killed him. As it was, I didn't need any more complications.

The police came and began their crime scene investigation. Yamazaki confessed without hesitation, and told them he was willing to testify about the yakuza group's illegal drug trafficking in exchange for a lesser jail sentence. That solved all my problems rather nicely.

All but one- - Akihito.

I watched the different emotions play across that cute face of his. At first, he was shaken by seeing guns come into play for the first time in his life, and then it hit him that Yamazaki had betrayed him.

Tears flowed freely down his face. "He used me."

What could I say? Welcome to the grown-up world. Help yourself to a hot cup of cynicism and drink up. No, now was not the time for cruel sarcasm.

I told him I wasn't certain Yamazaki would have actually shot him, but there's no knowing what a cornered man will do.

I had an odd impulse to kiss those tears away, but I chose to affectionately ruffle his hair instead. That didn't go over too well with him. He irritably slapped my hand away.

"How can you be so calm?! You just shot a cop!"

"Better him than you," I told him, which then led Akihito to the shocking realization that the "bad guy" had just saved him from the "good guy".

I was rather amused at this thought myself.

I had indulged myself long enough. Unfortunately, it was time for me to say goodbye to Akihito, and return to my own world. I had enjoyed the diversion while it lasted.

"Don't think I've forgiven you because of what you just did! I'm going to get even by exposing you as the criminal you are... AND I'll get rich from the scoop!"

Oh? After all the things I did to him, he still intends to pursue me?

What a reckless boy.

I look forward to meeting him again.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

* * *

><p><strong>Libido:<strong> a person's sex drive; the urge to seek satisfaction of sexual needs. **BDSM:** overlapping term for bondage/discipline, sadism/masochism, and dominance/submission. **Dom:** in BDSM sex play the term is used for a "dominant", a person who sexually controls a sub. **sub:** in BDSM sex play the term is used for a "submissive", a person who is sexually controlled by a Dom (male) or Dommes (female)

**Cynicism:** a belief that all humans are basically selfish and dishonest, only caring about their own self-interests.


	2. Chapter 2

_. _

**T**he same strategies I use to gain power in the legitimate business world also serve me well in the underworld. One of the secrets of success is the building and maintaining strong connections; especially with politicians and various law enforcement agencies.

I have a few well-placed connections within law enforcement; from police officers to prosecutors- - including one notable district attorney. We attempted to send someone in to clean up Yamazaki's office, but the detectives were on top of it too quickly. Our man only had enough time to delete a file bearing my name from Yamazaki's computer. It's possible the information could be retrieved through computer forensics if they decide to dig deeper, but we'll deal with that if the need arises.

Politicians are very useful and notoriously easy to buy. In fact, it's difficult to find one the yakuza hasn't already gotten their hooks into yet. I had a good one on a leash who was currently up for re-election. I attended his fundraiser not so much for a show of support, but because of his surprising guest list. It appears he is also quite cunning with his connections. I chose my pet politician well.

I didn't expect to see Akihito working there as a waiter. I was pleased he hadn't given up on me after all. I had begun to wonder if the young photographer was all bark and no bite.

The first week after our encounter, he was very aggressive with his attempts to uncover information about me.

The second week, his attempts appeared to be less enthusiastic. I ran into him around the city a few times, but these meetings were obviously coincidental. He looked startled and dismayed every time our eyes met. To think our paths had been crossing all this time and I had never noticed him before.

The third week... nothing. I asked Kirishima if he had been having any trouble with Akihito.

"You mean that photographer? Besides catching him trying to sneak into the Shinjuku club, we also caught him trying to follow you home from work. We easily derailed him."

I see... my security measures had been too effective for him to overcome. I hadn't considered that.

"However," my assistant continued, "he was nearly successful at getting your phone number from the service provider. Fortunately, our insider caught it and notified us. She managed to block his access."

"Tell her to give him access to the number," I told him. "And my home address along with it," I added after thinking about it.

"Sir!?"

Kirishima hesitated for a moment. He can be quite thorough when it comes to my protection. I rely on him to let me know when he thinks my actions might call for some "reconsideration". How direct he is about it depends on how urgent he judges the situation to be. I waited for him to make a comment about my risky behavior, but instead he nodded casually, "I'll see to it."

It seems he considered it trivial, but sometimes he wears a good poker face. The subtle twitch of his eyebrow gave it away that he wasn't entirely comfortable with my actions.

It really wasn't much of a risk. The building I live in is very secure. The most Akihito could do was look at it from the outside. As for my phone number, what's the worst he could do with that? Give me a call at home? I seriously doubted he had the nerve to do that. Still, I wanted to throw enough at him to keep him interested.

I wanted to keep playing with him.

And as I had expected, he had finally come seeking me out at this fundraiser. I approached him and took a glass of champagne from his tray. When he turned to look at me, the shocked expression on his face told me everything.

He had not expected to see me here. This meeting was merely a coincidence.

I felt an unfamiliar and uncomfortable sensation... and then amusement as I realized the sensation was the feeling of my ego being bruised. I suppose an occasional humbling can be refreshing for the soul.

Akihito was going to make this a challenge for me.

And there's nothing I enjoy more than a good challenge.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

The latest news to come out of Hong Kong was that Fei Long was unusually restless these days. The man I had assigned to watch over him in prison 7 years ago, Yoh, was still with him and sending me monthly reports. The latest report had come to me urgently, a few days before. Fei Long had finally made his move against me. His men had broken into a store that also secretly housed an office in the back, and they downloaded all the files off the hard drive from a computer. This particular computer had sensitive information about the people involved in one of our major trade routes from Hong Kong to Japan.

Yoh was not the only mole I had within the White Serpent triad. This second insider was able to steal the disk before it could be brought back to Hong Kong. We had tried to locate him, but he had gone into hiding. To complicate things further, Fei Long had come to Japan to personally retrieve the disk himself.

Fei Long had indeed re-ignited that inner fire of his. Using his hostile feelings toward me as fuel, he had revived Hong Kong's legendary White Serpent triad- - also known as the Bai Shé. I had mixed feelings about this. I was pleased to see he had managed to pull himself back up by his own effort, but I was troubled that it was his negative emotions toward me that was driving him.

Fei Long... after Tou shot him, I thought he might die in my arms that night. I swore then I would do everything in my power to protect him if he survived. Now all I wished was for him to move on and forget about me. It seems it was not going to be.

It was no secret that I would be attending the fundraiser. The mole attempted to meet up with me there. Unfortunately, the Bai Shé anticipated that he would come out of hiding to meet with me. They caught and stabbed him during the attempt to retrieve the disk. Fortunately for us, their plan was thwarted by one of the hotel employees. I was told about this shortly after I left the fundraiser, and was informed the man had been taken to the hospital. I made arrangements to see him as soon as he was allowed to have visitors. Unfortunately, the Bai Shé got to him before I could. In the hallways of the hospital, I overheard them speaking in their native language that they had learned the man had given the disk to someone wearing a waiter's uniform.

Could it have been Akihito?

I called Kirishima. "I need you to locate Takaba for me."

"Takaba? He was at Club Sion just a while ago, creating a disturbance."

"A disturbance?"

"He said he needed to see you... to give you something. He was drawing too much attention, so Suoh 'encouraged' him to leave the premises."

Ah, damn it! "Takaba has the disk. Find him and bring him to me. NOW."

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

My men watched Akihito's place all night but he never returned home. Nor was he with his two friends. I had no doubt the Bai Shé had been staking out my clubs. If Akihito called as much attention to himself as Suoh had reported, then it was likely they figured out he was the one who had been given the disk and was now being held captive. But if they had taken the disk from him...

They had already killed the mole. If Fei Long thought Akihito was one of mine, then we might as well be searching for a body.

I had warned Akihito about the dire consequences of getting involved in the underworld and he had disregarded my advice. Then again, I did continue to bait him.

No matter how I spin it, I am the one responsible.

My men had located Fei Long's hideout in the city. We had to figure out how to close the net around them without losing the disk... or Fei Long. There was no way I would allow Fei Long to get away with this.

All these thoughts interfered with my ability to work, so I gave up and left work early. Kirishima called just after I arrived home, as I was checking my mail. He told me Akihito had failed to show up at his workplace. There was no doubt now that Fei Long had found him. Kirishima wanted to know what our next move was going to be. Before I could answer, one of the envelopes I pulled out of the mailbox caught my attention...

On the back was written, _Takaba A_. Inside the envelope was a MO disk.

Fei Long didn't have the disk which meant there was a good chance Akihito was still alive. And now I knew where he was.

"Tell our men to stand down," I told Kirishima. "We have the disk."

"And Fei Long?"

"I'll be paying my friend a little visit... and I'll be going alone, Kirishima. Do you understand?"

The tone of my voice indicated I would not tolerate any argument. "Y-yes sir."

** ** **麻見 隆一**** **

_. _

It is an important thing in business to avoid the involvement of emotions. This strategy serves me well in all aspects of my life. That said, there can be no denial that emotions still exist, though one can strive to keep them under control.

And that said, at some point one must open a pressure valve to allow them to vent when they reach a critical point. The trick is to find a proper time and place, preferably while one is alone.

I stormed Fei Long's hideout with a fury I hadn't experienced in a long time. It felt exhilarating to let loose at last! I still stayed in control as I shot to incapacitate, not to kill. I didn't want to inflame the conflict anymore than I had to, but I made sure to hurt them badly so they would hesitate before thinking about coming against me again. Even Fei Long knew better to return fire at that moment. He retreated not in fear, but in anger... not that I would expect to ever see fear on that man's face.

By the time I was done, I was quite satisfied. It was comparable to having good sex, I suppose. I lit a cigarette and went searching for Akihito. Two men were still guarding Akihito, having not heard the commotion because I was using a silencer. I took them down with ease.

I heard the rattle of chains. They had stripped Akihito and then chained him inside a cage. I freed him with keys I took from one of the downed guards.

"You didn't get the disk!?" Akihito asked alarmed.

"I got the disk," I assured him.

"Then why are you here?"

The question caught me off guard. Why am I doing this? Because I'm the one responsible for getting you into this mess.

Because... I suppose I must care about you.

Of course I could never openly admit something like that to him.

"I don't like anyone stealing my property," I told him.

"Oh, you mean the disk."

"I mean, you."

He responded with a fierce growl.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I carried him kicking and screaming outside. I put him down and he continued to verbally abuse me. I tried to get him into the car but he refused. He began to walk off, yelling that he'd get himself home.

"You're going to take the train... like that?" Akihito had my coat draped over him but it really wasn't hiding much. He was really going to do this, my little spitfire. This I _had_ to see.

I turned to follow him but my attention was caught by the high-pitched sound of a gun being fired with a silencer. I quickly pulled my gun out and turned around. I knew it had to be Fei Long.

I didn't really want to kill him, but now he left me no choice. I aimed my gun between those enraged eyes of his.

But there was something deeper behind those eyes.

It was a look of pain. He didn't want to kill me either.

So there we stood, with our guns pointed at each other. It seemed like an eternity passed before Fei Long lowered his gun. He gave me a bitter look and then retreated quickly.

I became aware of Akihito's warm body against my back. He was trembling violently. When I turned around to look at him, he had a terror-stricken look on his face.

"Takaba?"

He didn't respond. He just stood there- - shaking, withdrawn, and oblivious to his surroundings.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I took him back to my place. During the ride back I tried verbally goading him to bring him out of his shock, but there was still no response. Once we got to my place I pushed him into the bathroom. A good shower after his ordeal would probably help.

"You're filthy. Clean yourself up."

He just curled up against the wall, with that look of terror in his eyes. I walked over to him and took him into my arms. "Are you really going to let a minor thing like that unhinge you?" I was genuinely worried now. I leaned my head down and kissed him.

Snap out of it, Akihito!

I pulled back and tried goading him again. "What happened to the data on the disk? Are you trying to outsmart me?'

Finally his eyes focused on me, and then a small glimmer of a smile. "Oh? Is the data missing? I can't imagine what might have happened to it."

"Naughty boy... it's going to cost you." I pulled him toward me to kiss him again, but this time he pushed me away.

"Too bad I'm too filthy." He glared at me defiantly.

I smiled in return. "Then I'll clean you myself."

I grabbed the showerhead and sprayed him down with water, and then tried applying soap to his body. He twisted and turned and blocked me with his arms, trying to avoid it. I pulled his hands away and got him soaped up everywhere except for his ass, which he had tightly clenched shut.

"You can drag this out all night, if you want. I have plenty of time."

He reluctantly spread his legs apart so I could clean between them and I saw that his small, puckered hole was swollen and red. It looked like Fei Long had done some damage to him. I swiped a soapy finger across the hole. Akihito flinched, and then I saw a thin stream of white dribble from the opening.

There aren't strong enough words to describe how I felt about Fei Long at that moment.

I growled at Akihito that I intended to scrub every trace of Fei Long from his body. Akihito squealed and tried to bolt out of the bathroom. As slippery as he was from the soap, I managed to hold onto him. I pulled off my tie and used it to tie his wrists to the faucet. I bent him over onto his stomach so that he was laying across the edge of the tub, and then I gently but firmly parted his legs. I had a shower kit that had been given to me as a complimentary gift from a hotel. One of the bottles contained mineral oil. I decided to use that to clean him out, since the soap would cause any wounds he had to sting. I drenched my finger with the oil and then ran my finger around the perimeter of the opening.

"AHH!" Akihito cried out. "Don't touch it!" I couldn't tell if the noise he made was from pain or pleasure, but it sounded very erotic to my ears. Hearing it gave me the desire to take him again.

However, I didn't want to intentionally add to his trauma. I would have to remain dressed to resist the temptation. My clothes were already soaked at this point anyway.

I slowly inserted my finger. Sliding it in and out, I scrubbed out all evidence of Fei Long. The hisses and grunts coming from Akihito were obviously those of pain this time. It couldn't be helped- - it was the only way I could thoroughly clean him. Even though I fully enjoyed the noises he was making, there was no reason for him to suffer any more than was necessary, so I curled my finger toward his pelvic bone, seeking the pleasure gland inside him.

"Oh!" He jolted upwards, with a surprised look on his face which indicated I had found it. This time the noise was definitely pleasure. He tried to act as if this was not the case. "That... that's gross what you're doing!"

I straightened my finger and continued to vigorously scrub him out. There were more grunts of pain, and then I curled my finger and rubbed the spot again. He made a very nice moaning sound. "Ahh... no...! "

I inserted a second finger. This time as I was sliding my fingers in and out of him I kept my fingers just slightly curled, barely brushing across the sweet spot. His grunts of pain ceased and he began to pant. His hips began to sway as he subconsciously tried to position himself so my fingers would directly hit the spot. Each time I pushed my fingers in, I teased him by thwarting his attempts to hit it. Suddenly, his whole body thrust violently backwards onto my hand as he finally forced my fingers across the spot himself. "Unnhhh!" he cried out, before he gasped in embarrassment of what he had just done.

"You sick, perverted old man! Why are you doing this to me when you know I hate it," he growled.

I pulled my fingers out and turned him over onto his back. He was as hard as a rock. "I can see how much you hate it." I ran my finger along the underside of his erection, and watched it pulse and twitch. It was incredibly enticing. I very much wanted him at that point.

So much for the tactic of keeping my clothes on.

I bent him back over the side of the tub and unzipped my pants. When I pushed into his tight ass, he cried out in pain. I knew it was going to hurt him. His swollen insides felt very soft and very hot around me. The sensation was exquisite. I squeezed more of the oil onto my hand and reaching around him, I grasped his erection and stroked him slowly up and down until he started breathing hard again. I thrust into him again, and again he cried out in pain. I held still and began pumping him again with my hand until I heard the sounds of pleasure, and then I thrust into him once again. I began a cycle of giving him pleasure, pleasure, pain... pleasure, pleasure, pain.

Eventually, the pleasure and pain melded together for him. He cried out my name, and then I felt warm liquid squirt into the palm of my hand. I came inside him not long after.

Now it was me marking him within, instead of Fei Long.

He gave a sharp yelp when I pulled out of him. He lay there, still panting, with his eyes screwed shut. As wonderfully intense as the act had been, I knew I had injured him even more.

I like hearing cries of pain during sex. I can't explain why, but for me it is deeply erotic.

It's just the way I am.

This kid before me... those cries of his were arousing, but now that I had satisfied myself with him I felt a little unsettled by what I had just done. I needed to make it up to him somehow.

I wanted to give him nothing but pleasure this time to erase the trauma of his experience. I know with women when they orgasm, they remain at a high level of arousal for a couple of minutes. If you go back at it again within that time frame, they can orgasm again very quickly and more intensely. It's the same for a man, except the window of opportunity is extremely narrow. Too soon, and it becomes painful. Too long, and he's already cooled down too much. I untied Akihito and helped him to sit up. His face was still flushed. I rinsed him off and then knelt between his legs. He was still semi-hard. I kissed the tip.

"W-what are you... no don't! That's dirty."

I kissed it again, flicking it lightly with my tongue. "You taste clean to me." I licked the head roughly, and I felt his whole body flinch as he tried to scoot back. Not yet... he was still too sensitive. I ran my lips up and down the shaft. Within a minute, he went from being semi-hard to pulsing, fully erect. Now he was ready again. This time I licked him with my tongue, hard, from the base of the shaft all the way to the tip. I was rewarded with a drop of sweet nectar at the very top. I ran my thumb around the slippery head and then dipped the tip of my tongue into the slit. I heard a low moan come from him.

I looked up and saw that his mouth was parted slightly, and his eyes were glassy but focused on me with an intense look of need. This was the boy with the low libido, the one who couldn't see what the big deal was about sex. I swirled my tongue around the head and then took him all the way into my mouth, as I alternated between sucking and tonguing him. He pressed his hand to his mouth trying to stifle the sounds he was making, to no avail.

Suddenly, I felt his hands grasp me on either side of my head as he pushed me away. "I can't... I'm going to come!" he panted breathlessly.

"You want to come in my mouth... don't you, you dirty boy?" He didn't resist as I took him back into my mouth. I felt his body shudder violently as he shot, and I hungrily sucked him dry. He collapsed backward in sheer exhaustion.

I dried us both off and then carried him to my bed. He was out before I even laid him down. I stroked his hair and looked at his face. He looked so cute and innocent as he slept.

I still want to keep him within my reach, but somehow I need to keep him separate from my world. Akihito has a brightness in his eyes that I would do anything within my power to protect.

It seems I am fated to repeat my mistakes.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

* * *

><p><strong>MO disk:<strong> (magneto-optical) a type of disk used in Japan in the early 2000's, known for its reliability and high storage capacity


	3. Chapter 3

_. _

**T**akaba Akihito is on my mind again. I took him to my bed after rescuing him from Fei Long only because I wanted to keep an eye on him for a while- - although I will admit, the thought of having his warm body next to mine was appealing.

When I awoke a little while later, the warmth was gone. He had slipped away while I slept.

I had hoped to spend a little more time with him to make sure he was all right, but I was never given the chance. So now I feel uneasy.

Still, I have to move on. I went through all the necessary motions to prepare for work. I showered, dressed, and went out for a late breakfast. On the way to my office I saw a young man with dyed hair walking down the sidewalk. I lowered my window for a better look. As we passed him I saw he was carrying a camera bag.

As if he sensed my presence, the young man turned to look in my direction and our eyes met. Suddenly, he performed a rather rude gesture solely for my benefit, then he broke into a mischievous grin and ran away.

It was such an absurd thing for him to do, yet I found myself laughing out loud at his antics.

I really shouldn't be messing around with this kid. He has the spirit and energy of youth which is incredibly addicting. He is a wine produced from wild grapes. Surely I can allow myself one sip from time to time.

So when I arrived at my office, I gave the order for someone to watch him for a while. One should enjoy the bouquet first before consuming the wine.

These reports were a fresh breeze to the mundane routine of my life. He had not suffered from the events with Fei Long. He stayed busy supplementing his newspaper job with a variety of other freelance photography jobs, and spending time with a friend whose wedding was rapidly approaching. He made no more attempts to investigate me, so again I needed to find a way to pique his interest. However, before I had the chance to do something about it, I received a report that we were not the only ones shadowing Akihito.

_. _

**思考**

Another secret to success in the world of business is appearance; how you appear to those who pursue you as an ally, or to those who seek to oppose you. Confident, unruffled, and in charge at all times. Show no weakness or fear, despite how you might feel deep down, or else they will swallow you alive. Eventually it becomes a part of your being and less of an act.

In the underworld, these qualities are an absolute must. Any weaknesses in your armor will be exploited for all that it's worth.

I overheard a conversation once- - a group of men discussing this crime lord, Asami Ryuichi. The demeanor I had put forth had created something of a legend.

I have no fear. I would not hesitate to kill or to torture my opponents. My power is unbreakable. No one would dare cross me, otherwise the consequences would be unthinkable.

This is true.

Let me amend that- - some of it is true.

Only those with small minds believe that I have reached the state of godhood. A wise man knows better. I am, after all, only a man- - complete with all the detestable human characteristics. There have been instances where I've felt a lack of confidence, where I've let my emotions cloud my better judgement, where I've felt powerless... but these events are few and far between. I believe I can safely say that I have an advantage over most men.

Then there's that one who has the cunning to discover where each and every weakness in the armor is located. How does Fei Long know?

Luck, perhaps. Or perhaps because I can't seem to help revealing them to him.

** **麻見 隆一** **

_. _

I am now in constant contact with Yoh. He tells me since Fei Long returned to Hong Kong he's been in an unusually foul mood. I feel somewhat troubled that I might have revealed my hand in the way that I reclaimed Akihito from him. Akihito is simply an indulgence of mine, but he is _mine_ nevertheless. However, I have no intention of allowing him to become a new weakness in my armor that Fei Long could possibly exploit.

Because of this, now we had to follow the follower. It only took a day to identify him. It turned out to be a colleague of Detective Yamazaki's, a man by the name of Imamiya. Our source told us there had been a rumor going around the precinct that a high-profile underworld figure had stormed a Chinese crime den in order to rescue Yamazaki's pet former juvenile delinquent. Imamiya was attempting to make that connection to me. This was an annoyance since it now meant I had to keep my distance from Akihito.

Akihito continued to go through the motions of his normal life, ignorant that he was being watched by my people and by a cop. Yoh reported that while Fei Long grumbled occasionally about being bested by "a brat", his attention was now directed toward another faction that was attempting to wrestle away a rather lucrative deal from him. Yoh had also mentioned there were some within the Bai Shé who thought Fei Long's leadership abilities were beginning to deteriorate. I think Fei Long has enough on his plate that he won't be troubling me in the near future.

It was another late night at the office when Kirishima informed me that Akihito had gained entrance to the Shinjuku club as the guest of a member. Kirishima wanted to know whether or not he should have him tossed out.

Akihito inside one of my clubs... a chance for me to meet up with him again. After all, what would be suspicious about paying a visit to one my own business places?

It probably would not be a good idea though. Imamiya might have followed Akihito there.

"He managed to get in, so let him enjoy himself... although I suspect he'll be shocked once he realizes how much drinks cost."

"There's a _vendor/client meeting_ going on in the special VIP room."

'Vendor/client meeting' is the code for an arms deal. Now would not be a good time to show my face at the club, but with Akihito there...

I've never met anyone with such a nose for trouble. An unfortunate coincidence?

"Which member brought him in?"

Kirishima picked up the phone. After a few minutes he placed it back down. "The membership card that was used was recently reported as 'lost'. The person who presented the card has been identified as Detective Imamiya. What would you like us to do?"

I smiled. "Nothing." I put my briefcase on the desk and placed the file I had been reading inside it. "I believe I'm done for the night. Have someone bring my car around."

Kirishima brought his hand up to his glasses in what I like to call his '_how interesting'_ gesture. "Not the limo? Then you'll be driving yourself home?"

Kirishima knew damn well where I was headed.

"Of course," I told him.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I used the back entrance so not to draw attention to my presence. My plan was to watch both the cop and Akihito from the surveillance room; however, before I could open the door, Akihito bolted out of the room right in front of me.

I can tell you I was _not_ happy about that. How the hell did he get into that room so easily?

I grabbed him, probably a little too vigorously, and dragged him to the observation room for the special VIP suite. I wanted to show him just what kind of danger he was about to get himself into.

Just as we looked out, Imamiya entered the room. If he stepped any further into the room, he would see a rather shocking display of firearms. This was going to be interesting.

Akihito looked alarmed. "I need to stop him!"

"Why do you care so much about the cop that's been stalking you?"

He looked at me surprised. "How did you know about that?!" This was good, in my opinion, that he was aware that a cop had been following him.

I turned him back toward the window. "I think if we wait a minute or two, both of our problems will be solved. Let's watch together, shall we?"

I embraced him from behind and lowered my head to his hair, breathing in his fine bouquet. I didn't realize until that moment how much I had been craving his scent and the feel of his skin. I moved my hands up to loosen his carelessly knotted tie when my hand brushed across something odd upon it. I stopped and ran my fingers across it again. It felt like a thick button...

My hesitation cost me. Akihito broke free and slammed his hand down onto the alarm panel, setting off the alarm. The noise surprised the cop who turned toward the door, giving the dealers a chance to cover up the guns. The others in the room began yelling for security. We watched as the club's security men hurried in and then escorted Imamiya out.

Akihito turned to me, defiant. I looked at his tie and saw that the mysterious object appeared to be an RF transmitter bug- - a small microphone.

I had let myself be led by the nose- - or more aptly in my case, an appendage somewhat lower down on my body. I was being set up by the cop and this kid in front of me! I felt a surge of anger, more at myself than at Akihito. It was my stupidity that had gotten me into this situation. I angrily snatched the bug off his tie.

Akihito flinched, apparently thinking I was about to strike him, but then he saw the object between my fingers and he looked bewildered.

"What is _that?!_"

I felt a small feeling of relief. He hadn't known about it.

"Imamiya apparently didn't trust you, so he must have planted this listening device on you. Fortunately, we jam this type of signal here." The look on his face was the same look he had when he discovered the other cop, Yamazaki, had betrayed him. "You didn't know about the arms deal he was planning to bust here tonight, did you?"

I watched Akihito's face as he worked it out- - the potential danger Imamiya had put him in by bringing him along tonight.

And again, the "bad guy" had saved him.

He tried to throw it back at me. "You're just as bad as he is! You're always following me, too!" Was he also aware of that? Good for him for being so observant.

"Why did you come along with Imamiya?" I stepped toward him and smiled. "Did you want to see me that badly?"

"WHAT?! NO...! "

I pushed him against the wall and held his chin firmly so I could lower my head down to kiss him. Unexpectedly, his lips parted without resistance. I accepted the invitation and slipped my tongue inside. After a while, I broke the kiss and looked at him. I saw anger mixed with desire in his eyes.

The wine was now ready to drink.

I brought his fingers to my lips and ran my tongue across them. His faced flushed as he struggled to keep from reacting... but he didn't resist either.

I reached down between his legs and I could feel that he was hard. I lightly caressed him through his trousers and felt it twitch beneath my fingers.

"That's a nice reaction."

"Just because _that_ happened, don't think I'm going to let you have your way with me!"

"Oh?" I laughed. "Are you actually going to put up a fight? This should be fun." Akihito still hadn't resisted, so on a whim I decided to goad him into action. "I don't mind that you managed to get into my club, but breaking into the surveillance room... you'll have to be punished for that."

"PUNISHED?!" he yelled trying to push me away. "You assho- - "

I quickly pulled out a handkerchief and stuffed it in his mouth. I grabbed his hands before he could reach up and take it out. "Shhh... you're ruining the moment," I mocked.

He glared at me angrily and started to struggle as I began peeling off his blazer and tie. Trying to unbutton his shirt as he was fighting was trickier. I finally got one arm out of a sleeve when he managed to pull one of his hands loose from my grip. I pulled my own tie off and tied his wrists together- - yet another tie I've ruined with him. I wasn't able to completely get his shirt off, but it was good enough for my purposes.

I slipped my hand down the inside of his pants and began fondling him again. I heard him moan through the cloth in his mouth and then he relaxed, letting me caress him. I pulled my hand out so I could get his pants off but it was awkward being up against the wall, so I dragged him to the couch and pulled him onto my lap so I could finish undressing him.

Once his pants were off, I began stroking him again while I watched his face. His eyes were tightly closed, but he had the most erotic expression. I coated my fingers in the wetness that was beginning to drip from the tip of his erection and began stroking him faster. He was suppressing his voice but panting heavily through the cloth. This was causing a rather strong reaction in me. I was tempted to finish him off so I could watch him come, but my own desire told me I needed to take him.

Suddenly, he arched his back and thrust hard into my hand. No, not yet. I need to be inside you first.

I pulled my hand away and moved him off my lap onto the couch so I could get ready to take him. With his eyes still closed, he arched his back again and thrust into empty space, this time whimpering in frustration when there was nothing for him to thrust against.

It was unbelievable watching him. Takaba Akihito is quite possibly the sexiest human being I've ever encountered. I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed into him immediately.

His face convulsed in pain as he grunted loudly into the cloth. In my impatience, I had neglected to prepare him. But again, I felt that familiar heat and those seductively soft insides as he gripped tightly around me, and I knew there was no turning back. Something about being inside him is different than anything I have ever felt. I thrust into him, letting my own slickness lubricate his insides slowly. Again, those sounds came from him, alternating between pain and pleasure. I went to kiss him but that damn cloth was in the way, so I pulled it out with my teeth. Once it was removed, sighs and moans poured from his mouth. This time it was all pleasure. He shuddered and then clamped down hard on me as he came.

It was then that I lost myself in him. "You're mine, and mine alone... don't you _ever_ forget that," I whispered in his ear before I came.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _**  
><strong>

I held him on my lap as he let me dress him. He had a pouty expression on his face which I thought was very cute. When I first saw him inside the club, I noted how sloppily he was dressed in that cheap business suit- - with the top button undone and his tie loose in a simple knot. I buttoned his shirt all the way up and did his tie up in a double Windsor knot. It didn't look right on him.

"I think I prefer you dressed in your normal attire better." I reached up to readjust his tie and he slapped my hand away.

"I don't really care WHAT you prefer." He reached up and loosened his tie and then unbuttoned the top button. Yes, that did look a little more like Akihito. He got up and grumbled some impolite things as he stumbled out of the room.

Ah... the camera. I forgot he had been taking pictures. I called up security and told them to make sure they had someone relieve him of his camera before they let him go.

Remembering his cute pouty expression I told them, "Trade him a piece of candy for it."

I sat back and smiled contentedly. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this evening.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

* * *

><p><strong>RF Transmitter Bug:<strong> a "Radio Frequency" transmitter. An inexpensive transmitting device used by individuals or private detectives. It transmits on the commercial FM band 88-108 MHZ (the signal can be picked up by an ordinary FM radio)


	4. Chapter 4

_. _

**思考**

**W**ake. Shower. Dress for the day and go to breakfast- though at the point in time I am doing this, others within the city are looking forward to lunch. A stop along the way to take care of side matters, and then onto my office. I take care my obligations for the afternoon, and then it's time to make my rounds to various places that I own. I return to my office to take care of unfinished business. I usually return home by 2:00 a.m.

There is something comforting in the ritual of a routine. It is the order that counterbalances the chaos.

The elements of Order and Chaos- - the business world is one aspect of order in my life. Order is what keeps me on an even course. However, a steady diet of order also makes for a terribly boring existence.

My underworld involvement is one aspect of chaos in my life. It provides me with an invigorating rush from the danger and excitement. It is something I crave like a drug addict; therefore, it has the potential to be very destructive. It is a difficult beast to control, but I take perverse pleasure in mastering it.

Balancing Order and Chaos within one's self is another beast entirely. I'd like to believe I've mastered that one as well.

For better or worse, I do tend to favor the chaotic.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

The order in my day yesterday was laced with a trace of chaos. As I was leaving my place for the day, I heard the soft echo of a clicking noise. It could have been any number of normal noises coming from a parking garage, but it sounded to me like the sound of a camera shutter.

Kirishima was holding the limo door open for me. "Sir, you're being watched. I think it might be that Takaba kid again."

"Yes, it is." I got in the car.

I glanced back at my assistant. Just before he closed the door I saw a small vein on the side of his head flare out. At first, I thought Kirishima was merely annoyed by Akihito, but it seems Kirishima doesn't care for him at all.

I went to a ryōtei for breakfast. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Akihito dart by a doorway while I was eating. It appears he is hopeless when it comes to trailing someone without being detected.

As I was entering the limo to leave, I saw a barely perceptive shadow dart around the corner. How did he get around to the front from the kitchen so fast?

Next, we went to my barber's. I visit this place quite often to listen to the local "gossip" from an informant. As I exited the place, a young boy running with an ice cream cone collided into me. The ice cream from his cone slid onto my suit and then fell to the ground. He looked up at me, terrified. Kirishima's normally composed demeanor cracked and he let loose verbally on the child.

I interrupted Kirishima's tirade. "This was my fault since I wasn't paying attention when I walked out." I tried to calm the crying child, "My apologies. I believe I owe you an ice cream cone. Kirishima, why don't you go get another for this young man. Make it a triple."

Kirishima turned red, "I'll take care that right away, sir." He actually ran to get the ice cream cone. I removed my suit jacket so the ice cream would not drip further onto my suit and tried to calm the boy. The tears miraculously dried up as soon as Kirishima returned with the ice cream. For a moment, the boy reminded me of Akihito. I noticed a subtle movement from behind a display in a store across the street. Had I not been thinking of Akihito at that moment, it probably wouldn't have caught my attention.

I smiled. He's getting better at this.

However, my ever-alert assistant made mention of it once I got in the limo. I told him to take me to a clothing store so I could replace the suit jacket. On the way there, Kirishima apologized for his uncharacteristic outburst and then voiced his frustrations.

"Takaba was able to get into the kitchen. He could have potentially poisoned your food... and just now, following you to this particular location? Sir, I know you don't consider him a threat but this is definitely a security concern."

I trust Kirishima unquestionably with my life. I knew I was causing him unnecessary agitation by ignoring his concerns. How could I allow Akihito to follow me and yet still accommodate the very vigilant Kirishima?

I pulled out my phone and made a call. "It seems I am being tailed by Takaba. I'm about to arrive at my office. You'll be able to catch up with him there. Have someone keep an eye on him, but I don't want anyone to interfere with him unless he proves to be a threat."

I watched as Kirishima's tense shoulders relaxed. "Thank you, sir."

Akihito's interest in me has ramped up lately. On New Year's Day. I was awakened by a series of annoying phone calls. By the second one, I figured out it was Akihito. By the third, I knew he was drunk and it was unlikely I was going to get any more sleep.

On the fourth call he went on a crying jag. At that point I very much regretted allowing him access to my number.

By the time I received the fifth call, I had time to reconsider and realized this could be turned to my advantage. Since one's actions on the first day of the year are supposed to be representative for the rest of the coming year, I had a good idea of how I wanted to set that trend.

I went and retrieved an unconscious Akihito from a restaurant, brought him home, stripped him and took full advantage of his drunken state. The noise from his own semiconscious moaning finally woke him completely as he became aware of what was happening to him. By that time, he was too far gone to protest seriously.

Remembering this has made me wish that I wasn't booked up solidly for the rest of the day.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I wasn't at work for long when no less than three of my employees alerted me to Akihito's presence. It seemed he was being careless again. I had a few meetings that afternoon- - two of them were with diet members with reputations for being rather unpleasant and difficult. Hearing how my staff dealt with Akihito throughout the day kept my spirits lifted; one had him clean out all the trash bins, another had him pick up takeout for them from a nearby restaurant. I had to make an appearance at a new club I was opening up, so I decided to leave early to knock that obligation out of the way. Akihito accidentally stumbled into my midst as I was leaving and I actually had to turn my head in an exaggerated manner to avoid "seeing" him.

Again, I nearly ran into him at the new club. He truly is hopeless.

I finally arrived at Sion for another round of meetings, these for... less respectable... business purposes. I knew it was unlikely that Akihito would be able to enter the club. Later, I needed to attend to a transaction down at the warehouses. I knew I shouldn't allow Akihito to shadow me that far- - though a perverse part of me wanted him to continue watching me.

When Kirishima entered my office at the club, I was expecting a stern lecture about Akihito's presence but it turned out to be something more troublesome.

Kirishima had a contrite expression on his face. That was the first indication that something was wrong. "Forgive me sir, but I was considerably lax with your security today. My incompetence has put you at risk."

"You needn't apologize. I'm the one who allowed Takaba to follow me." Kirishima didn't look up. "Has this created a problem for you?"

"We were so concerned with Takaba that we didn't realize there was another who was shadowing your movements."

I remembered the detective that had been tailing Takaba a few months ago. "Are you sure it is me they are shadowing, and not Takaba?'

"Someone alerted the police about Takaba loitering outside the club. It wasn't one of our people. We think it was this other one that has been following you. Takaba has probably been interfering with this second follower."

"Where's Takaba now?" I asked.

"It appears he left the area after being confronted by the police."

This was a bit disappointing but probably for the best since there was the potential for trouble. "And the person who's been following me?"

"Right now they're concealed out front."

"We'll exit through the back when we leave later," I told him.

I finished up my business at Sion and we exited out of the back door to head to the warehouses. It wasn't long before Kirishima alerted me that we were being followed.

"Is it Takaba, or the second one?"

Kirishima checked the rear view mirror. "Whoever it is appears to be very experienced at this sort of thing. Likely the second one. Shall I divert our path?"

"No, the warehouses are a perfect place for us to net our fish. Have the men take him out there."

As I was finishing up the transaction at the warehouse, I heard a commotion behind us. I could see out of the corner of my eye my men subduing someone. As they seem to have it under control, I headed back to my office to finish my day.

Upon returning to my office I was informed that Akihito had returned there earlier and was presently staking out the building. Ah, my favorite stalker was back! My good mood returned.

The rest of my workday didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. I had to reconcile financial errors caused by a delayed shipment. Also, the man my men had caught earlier managed to escape before they had a chance to question him. They were certain he was of Chinese origin.

Fei Long again, no doubt. According to the last report, the lucrative trade deal he thought he had secured had been yanked from underneath him. His organization was beginning to splinter over the loss. He should be dealing with that problem instead of concerning himself with me again. I have no idea what the hell he is thinking.

I didn't leave my office until almost 3:00 a.m. I was informed that Akihito had finally left a couple of hours earlier. I don't blame him. I do keep disagreeable hours.

I was exhausted by that time anyway.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Arriving home, I found a grocery bag hanging from the doorknob on my front door. Inside the bag was a bun and a juice box. This was something that Akihito would dine on. Why was it hanging on my door?

I walked back outside and found Akihito, curled up and sleeping against a small tree. Despite wearing a heavy coat, he was shivering. I picked him up gently, so not to wake him, and carried him inside. Once inside, I carefully peeled off his clothes. I stopped when I got him down to his camo-patterned briefs because there was something wonderfully obscene about seeing him sprawled on my bed wearing such childish underwear. Just by gazing at him, my exhaustion began melting away. I needed to take a shower, so I secured his hands with a rope to a solid light fixture above the bed- - in case he woke up and thought of trying to escape from me.

When I turned off the shower, I could hear banging and cursing coming from the bedroom. It appeared Akihito was now awake- - and very angry, from the sound of it.

I walked in and was immediately hit with a burning desire, seeing him tied to my bed with that furious face and dressed that underwear. Akihito was in my bed- - I couldn't help smiling over that. The first thing I did was to grasp him between his legs. This caused him to flinch which made me realize he was nowhere close to my state of arousal. I was going to have to work on catching him up.

I lowered my face to his crotch and placed my mouth over the soft lump in his briefs and breathed hot air onto it. The lump stirred against my mouth. I looked at him, and watched as a blush crossed his face. I suddenly had a wicked urge to unsettle him, so I lightly bit down with my teeth. He flinched again, and this time his face showed fear since this is not the place any man ever wants to feel teeth. I've done some bizarre things to him in the past, so I watched his anxiety take over as he became apprehensive about the kind of things I might be capable of doing to him.

However, this time I decided to slowly pleasure him. I wanted to take as long as possible to bring him up to my level of arousal. I began by zeroing in on his nipple, giving it long licks. I kept looking up at his face and I could see he was struggling to not react. I reached down to stroke him through his underwear and felt that the lump had grown longer and firmer. Not only that, but a small dark round spot had appeared near the waistband. I moved my hand down to his testicles and caressed them, watching the small wet spot expand a little more. I looked up again and his face was now flushed with heat. Still, he glared at me angrily. I don't know why this expression of his stirs such a strong desire in me, but I seek to provoke it purposely. I am drawn to those fiery eyes, much like a moth is drawn to flame.

I wanted to take him then. Still, I tortured myself by pleasuring him at very a slow pace. Using my mouth, I slicked down two of my fingers and then pulled his underwear aside so I could slip my fingers into the crack and probe for his entrance. I found it and slowly penetrated the tight opening. I was still watching his face. To avoid my gaze, he turned his head to the side, still with an angry expression; however, I could see his chest rising and falling as he took deeper breaths. He was being such a stubborn boy.

Now the wet spot on his underwear had spread further, causing the cloth to cling to the head. It was outlined so clearly that I couldn't resist uncovering it for a peek. I pulled the waistband away from his body and his erection popped out. The head was coated with a glistening liquid, which had pooled a bit onto his abdomen. Down between my legs, I could feel the throbbing of my own erection.

I moved my fingers slowly in and out of him, twisting them at different angles to massage him on the inside. I watched his brow furrowed in concentration, as he tried to hold back any sign that he was feeling pleasure. I relished watching him struggle with this. I looked back at his erection and every time it twitched, I could see drops of nectar being squeezed out before slowly dripping down the length of his shaft.

"Quit staring at it!" he snapped at me. His voice made me realize that I had been fixated on that pulsating organ of his for quite a while now. I realized that I was grinning at the sight. I had never seen anyone get so wet before!

"Don't rush it," I teased. "You might as well lay back and enjoy it, because I intend to pleasure you all night." I pulled his underwear to the side to expose his testicles and gave them a long lick, drawing my first sigh from him. I continued to lick just up to the base of the shaft and his erection jolted upward in anticipation of my tongue stroking its length. Instead, I returned to licking his sac and I began thrusting my fingers into him faster.

Now I was drawing soft moans from him. His erection very much wanted attention and I wanted very much to lap at the liquid that was now spilling from its tip, but I knew that would quickly bring him to a climax and I wasn't ready for him to do that. Unrestrained moans were now escaping from his lips. His eyes took on that glassy look of desire and need as they silently implored me to bring him to orgasm. But I wanted to hear it in his words. Plead with me to let you come. Beg me to take you... but he stubbornly withheld those words.

Ah... who is teasing who now?

I used the power that I held over him to draw out more moans and sighs. Now I was ready to take him. I slowly pulled off his briefs and stroked upwards on his length to gather the wetness on my hand, drawing a loud gasp from him. I used this wetness to slick down my own erection and then I tried to move his leg aside to expose his opening. At my touch, both of his legs moved apart on their own and I marveled that he had just willingly spread his legs for me.

I pushed into him and felt that tight ring grip me, and the incredible heat and velvety softness of his insides envelop me. It took everything I had to move slowly, since by this time I had the urge to thrust hard into him like a madman. My very slow and controlled movements drew soft, pleading whimpers from him. He pulled his knees up to his chest allowing me to push in deeper. Now it was me that was struggling. I buried myself into him to the hilt and then stopped and closed my eyes to calm the urgency. I moved in and out again, waited, and then repeated this movement after a few seconds. I was having to take deeper breaths to suppress my own voice, because I refuse to give that power over to him. I bent down so I could cover his mouth with my own, and was surprised when he lifted his head to meet me for the kiss. I was also strangely touched by this gesture.

I heard a rattle and realized he was struggling to free his hands. Would he put his arms around me if his hands were free? I reached up and untied his wrists, and once his hands were free they went straight to his hard rod. He began rapidly stroking himself and then I felt him clamp down forcefully on me. I began thrusting quicker into him, rhythmically matching his strokes in response. His hand began to move even faster and then his cries became louder until he came hard, covering himself from his stomach to his chin in pearly streams. I licked at the drops that had hit his chin and then dipped my tongue into his mouth. At the same time, I felt his insides become very slick as I released inside him. I kept thrusting for a few more seconds and then it became very wet between us as my seed began to spill out of him. I must have had quite the build up.

By the time I was done with him, we both were a sticky and sweaty mess. He was looking at me through half-closed eyes that indicated he was deeply satisfied. Looking toward the window, I noticed for the first time the sun was up and shining brightly. We had been at it for several hours. Heavy fatigue hit me then, and I laid down beside him, pulling him close to me and wrapping my arms around him. I could feel the softness of his hair against my face and smell his familiar scent, and then sleep overtook me.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

It seemed almost immediately I heard the annoying sound of my alarm clock. I reached over to kill it and then realized my bed felt cold.

And empty.

Again, Akihito had slipped away while I slept. I felt unusually irritated. Just once I would have liked to have woken up with him still in my bed. However, it is merely lust that binds us together- a momentary and superficial connection. With his lust satisfied he has no reason to stick around, and it is senseless for me to even entertain the thought.

Back to order. Back to the ritual of my routine. With only three hours of sleep, it's going to make for a rough day.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

* * *

><p><strong>Ryōtei<strong>: A high-class traditional Japanese restaurant. Politicians and businessmen are known to use the private rooms for confidential meetings.


	5. Chapter 5

_. _

** S**omething about today felt different than any other day. I felt it as soon as I awoke. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, only that it made me feel slightly uneasy because I couldn't identify what it was. I began my daily routine of showering and dressing, but I still couldn't shake it.

Kirishima arrived to take me to breakfast and then on to my office. When we stepped outside I noticed the air felt unusually warm, despite it being a cloudy day.

I checked my schedule and it looked like it was going to be an ordinary day, perhaps even easier than most, so there was nothing of concern there. Still, I couldn't shake the odd feeling. Once we arrived and I stepped out of the car, I again noticed the heat and heaviness of the air. I wondered if this might be the cause of my unusual feeling.

The next couple of hours went along fine. I thought that after spending some time in the cool building the feeling of oppression would be lifted, but it remained with me. What was it? Anxiousness... restlessness... the feeling of pressure building. It was all these things, but what was the source of it? For some reason a vision came to my mind of a volcano with the magma inside about to reach critical mass.

In the third hour of the day, things began to go crazy. A shipment we had been expecting contained the wrong cargo. The expected cargo had been misplaced, lost, or stolen. This was something we were to ship on to another destination within 12 hours. I headed immediately to the warehouse to see what could be done. We found an error in the manifest. Apparently, the labels on the containers had been switched with another incoming shipment.

We waited around for the arrival of the second shipment. When we finally received it a couple hours later, we discovered it was indeed the missing shipment. While it seemed to be a simple clerical error, I had a nagging feeling that it had been done deliberately. However, it didn't make any sense why someone would intentionally do this. Anyone who works in this section knows all our shipments are carefully inspected before they go out so we would catch any errors at that point. I wondered if the odd feeling I was experiencing today was perhaps causing me to be unreasonably suspicious.

I remembered I had two meetings pending on my agenda. Because we were stuck at the warehouse sorting out this situation, I asked Kirishima to reschedule them. Unfortunately, one of them was with a rather cantankerous Diet member who refused to be rescheduled. Looking at the time, I decided I could still make the scheduled meeting if we hurried back.

Back inside the limo, I was in the middle of calling one of my secretaries to let them know that the meeting would be taking place at the original scheduled time, when I was unexpectedly thrown forward by the car suddenly braking. I saw someone jump back and fall to the ground. Someone with silvery blond hair. I rolled down my window for a better look and the startled gaze that returned my own belonged to Akihito. He looked away from me at the sound of someone shouting. I looked up and saw two very unpleasant looking men rushing toward him. I opened the car door and Akihito jumped in. To my amusement, he considered me to be the lesser threat.

Without a word from me, Kirishima correctly assessed the situation but waited until the men had almost reached the limo before hitting the gas and peeling out, causing the tires to screech and kick up dust as we left the men behind. That caused me to raise an eyebrow.

I am aware that my assistant has a rather sadistic streak in him but it rarely manifests itself. It amuses me to see it on the rare occasion that it does- - as long as I'm not the intended victim. This small thing and the fact that Akihito was now sitting across from me, panting and sweating from running in this heat, lifted my spirits. He seemed vividly bright on this overcast day.

I had little time to appreciate the moment as the phone began buzzing in my hand. One of the secretaries informed me the politician had shown up a half hour early and was presently terrorizing my staff.

"Here... here is fine..." I heard Akihito saying. I realized he had been trying to get my attention. I told Kirishima to pull over. Akihito had the door open before we even came to a complete stop.

"Takaba..." I called out to him before he had a chance to run off. I had been so busy lately that I realized I hadn't seen him in weeks. He turned around and looked at me.

The phone was again buzzing urgently in my hand. We had to get moving if I was going to be on time. Whatever I wanted to say to him would have to wait for another day. "Make sure you look both ways before crossing the street next time."

Akihito glared at me as we pulled away.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I arrived at my office with little time to spare.

After my meeting with the Diet member, Kirishima came into my office to drop off some reports. He looked past me. "That's quite a storm that's building up out there."

I turned around and saw that the clouds looked very heavy and had turned a darkish gray. It would break soon. I wondered if Akihito would make it home before it did.

However, the clouds continued to build and thoughts of Akihito kept slipping into my mind. It was becoming distracting so I tried to throw it off every time I caught myself thinking of him, but eventually the thought just stuck there- - like a song that you can't get out of your head. It was remarkably annoying.

Sometime after 1:00 a.m., I decided to call it a day. I noticed as I entered the limo that amazingly the storm _still_ hadn't broken. I wondered if I would arrive home before it finally let loose. Akihito would be safe in his place, probably asleep by now. I wondered how he looked, curled up sleeping in his bed. What was the inside of his place like? The song of Akihito was now persistent in my head so I gave in to it. I closed my eyes and allowed it to play out.

The vision that immediately came to my mind was of our last encounter. It was striking in the way that he went from absolutely not wanting sex to total compliance. Spreading his legs for me, positioning himself to accommodate me taking him deeper. The look of pure lust in his eyes, lifting his head to meet me for a kiss, crying out my name as he came...

I opened my eyes. I knew now it was not the pressure of the impending storm that had been the cause of my restlessness, but a tempest that had been building inside of me. I instructed Kirishima to drive me to Akihito's address.

In the reflection of the rear view mirror, his eyes flickered to meet mine briefly before turning back to the road. "Yes, sir." Kirishima made a maneuver to turn the limo around after that.

The storm broke as he completed the turn.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Thinking it would look strange for a limo to be pulling up to Akihito's modest apartment complex, I had Kirishima pull over around the corner. I refused the umbrella he offered to me and stepped out into the rain.

I knocked loud enough to wake him. To my surprise, the door opened rather quickly and his place was fully lit. Good, he was awake. He looked rather irate.

"Who do you think you are, banging on my door at this hour...!" His face registered shock as he realized who was standing at his door. I quickly stepped in before he could slam the door shut. "Asami!? Why... how...?!"

"I got caught in the rain. You don't mind if I stay here until it lets up, do you?"

Of course he did mind, but I was wagering that Akihito's sense of courtesy was more irresistible to him than his common sense. He grumbled that he had just been getting ready to go to bed, and then he offered me something to drink. I never bet on common sense when it comes to Akihito.

He offered me a glass of bottled green tea. He poured some for himself as well and then sat on his desk, wedging himself up against the wall as if to put as much space as he possibly could between the two of us. He was wearing a skimpy tank top and thin shorts. He looked wonderfully alluring.

Since I had first seen him today, my desire for him had been building much like the storm. The problem was that I had come to him assuming his desire would match my own, and that he would be ready for me even if his lips spoke the usual denial. Instead he was curled up defensively, and obsessively looking out the window wishing for the rain to stop. Well, I _was_ invading his home. How was I going to get around this obstacle so I could seduce him properly? I wanted him to be willing when I took him- - and make no mistake, I fully intended to have him before I left this place.

I was not interested in drinking the glass of tea that I had been holding onto. I put it down on the table next to me. Akihito jumped at the sound and dropped his own glass. It shattered on the floor.

"Stay away from me!" he yelled at me fearfully.

This overreaction shocked me. He looked terrified. This was not the kind of reaction I had wanted to see. "You think I came here to have sex with you, don't you?" I mocked, trying to turn his fear into anger.

His face flushed and I saw another look under all that fear. A look that I know very well by now. His left leg was curled up in an odd position, not so much to be protective but as if he was concealing something.

"What are you hiding from me, Takaba? Let me see."

I walked over to him and slipped my hand into his curled up body. He gasped as I gripped him between the legs. He was gloriously hard.

I couldn't help smiling. "Well, aren't you fired up? Do you want me to take you that badly?"

He furiously shook his head "no" but his legs moved slightly apart at my touch, allowing me easier access.

"Yes, I came here to ravish you." I bent down to kiss him and heard him begin to breathe rapidly. Still gripping his erection from the outside of his shorts, I ran my thumb over the tip and felt some slippery wetness seep through. I released him from the kiss and ran my hand under his shirt. He arched his upper body backwards so I pushed his shirt up, bent down, and took his nipple into my mouth, rolling my tongue over the peak until it hardened. He moaned with pure abandon. The effect on me was immediate. There would be no slow drawn-out foreplay tonight. I had to have him _now_.

I slipped off his shorts and then I slid my fingers around his puckered hole in a circular motion. I probed the opening to prepare him, but instead of being tight it was unusually soft, pliable, and inviting. He was already primed for me. It took me mere seconds to free my own erection from the confines of my suit and to quickly push into him. I felt that delicious heat and velvety softness as he gripped around me, sucking me in. He cried out and his body trembled.

"I... I hate...!"

"You hate this?" I asked as I looked into his confused eyes. "Show me how much you hate it then." I began thrusting into him and his cries of pleasure became louder.

Of course I knew he meant it was me that he hated. As long as you receive me and take pleasure from my actions, I honestly don't care how you feel about me.

He was helpless to my manipulations, reacting to every touch, kiss, and caress. The heat flared equally for both of us. It burned intensely but it was short-lived. He collapsed in my arms shortly after we both came.

I carried him to his bed and carefully laid him down so not to wake him. Before I could straighten back up, his eyes flew open and he grabbed onto my suit jacket.

"Where are you going?!" he asked, in a panic.

He surprised me because not only I did I think he was out cold, but he was also preventing me from leaving. This was well established by now. We satisfy our lust and then move on. You're not allowed to change the rules to suit yourself.

"Do you want me to cuddle with you all night?" I asked him sarcastically.

"NO! No..." He let go and turned away from me.

The storm had ended. I stepped outside into the night air which now felt cooler and lighter. I was feeling refreshed. Kirishima would still be parked around the corner waiting for me. I turned around and looked at the small and modest apartment building. Why had I come here?

The answer was simple. I had been overcome with a consuming lust, so I opened the pressure valve. It was a necessary but controlled release.

Are you sure it was lust that drove you to come all the way out here tonight, a troublesome part of my mind wanted to know.

Yes, I'm sure of it. There's nothing else it could be.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

A few days later, the other politician whose meeting we had to cancel had not been able to reschedule due to his busy agenda, so I arranged to go out to his house to meet with him. As soon as we entered I heard a commotion behind me. It was the sound of Akihito yelling.

He was here, of all places.

Then I heard the sound of my assistant's raised voice. I turned around and was bewildered by the sight of Kirishima and Akihito yelling and pushing each other, like two boys in a schoolyard fight. A young woman appeared and pulled Akihito away, speaking to him in a soothing tone to try to calm him down. Kirishima fell back into line with us, his face still red with anger. It amazes me that Akihito can so effortlessly push Kirishima's buttons. My assistant's feathers are not easily ruffled.

Speaking with the politician, I learned that he had previously scheduled an interview and photography session. He cancelled it at the last moment so he could meet with me.

"With your re-election coming up, this would be an opportune time for you to meet with the media. I've heard about this photographer. He's supposed to be quite good."

This politician was easy to manipulate. He told his assistant to inform the media crew that he would be meeting with them after all.

This would of course leave Akihito obligated to me, and I was going to make sure that he knew it. After the meeting, I stayed so I could watch him in action.

Apparently, I didn't fully grasp the situation. Akihito was not the photographer but just a subordinate doing another photographer's bidding. The older man ordered him around, trying to make a show of his importance by demonstrating that he was the one in charge. It was amusing to watch Akihito being humiliated at first, but after a while it became tedious. His boss was being such an arrogant ass that I was tempted to go up to him and correct his bad behavior myself. Akihito put up with it however and stayed respectful the entire time.

Once they finished and began packing up, Akihito- - who was loaded down with equipment- - dropped a roll of film. I picked it up and handed it to him. He thanked me and then stopped and stared at me with a peculiar expression. I couldn't read it, but whatever it was seemed to reach down into my soul. I couldn't pull my gaze away from his. As I was trying to make sense of what was happening, one of their employees called out to him, causing him to jump. He pulled his gaze away from mine to answer her. The strange sensation that had a hold of me vanished immediately.

What the _hell_ was that all about?!

She was offering to take him to dinner but he turned her down. Akihito probably wanted to go home and bury himself in a hole after the humiliation he had just gone through, but I was curious about the strange thing that had just passed between us. It also occurred to me that I had never sat down and actually had a real conversation with him. I told Akihito I would take him out. I wanted to have a drink with him and perhaps get to know him. I decided to take him to one of my favorite places that I frequent on the rare occasion when I have the time to relax and socialize.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Ice cream? I didn't know they served ice cream at this establishment.

"That's off the child's menu, but seeing how you're a guest of Asami-san's I suppose I could make an adult serving for you."

Child's menu? I didn't know they had a child's menu either.

They brought out a rather generous serving of ice cream for him. Honey and lavender, or some overly ridiculous sweet thing like that. Just looking at it made my teeth ache.

"That person I was working with... he's not my boss or anything like that. It was a freelance job so I agreed to help him. He acted like a jerk, so I won't be offering to assist him again," he laughed nervously.

I stared at him, watching all the telltale evidence of a lie crawling all over his face. "Is that so? I would have never put up with what you did today."

Akihito turned red. "How would you have handled it?"

"A bullet between the eyes." I took a drink to hide my smile.

"You can't go around shooting people just because they do something you don't like!"

"Why not?"

"It's against the law!"

"Your answer should be, 'because it's morally and ethically wrong'. Against the law... you're so childish."

"I'm childish because I said it's against the law?!"

"No, you're childish because I brought you to a bar and you ordered... _that_."

"Oh yeah? Well you act like an old man!"

"You mean, mature."

"Yeah like I said... OLD!" He grumbled, "... _mature_..."

He looked at me, biting his lip, and then turned and called out to the bartender. "Hey you! Gimme what he's drinking!"

The bartender brought Akihito a glass of whiskey. Akihito watched me as I took a drink and then turned around and precisely mimicked my motions. The bartender was unable to suppress a chuckle. I have to admit I was hard-pressed to suppress my own.

However, instead of taking a sip he downed the entire glass and then asked for another. And then another.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Akihito was barely able to walk out of the bar. He held onto me to steady himself and he wasn't even doing that very well. I pushed him into the limo under my assistant's watchful gaze. The little vein on the side of Kirishima's head was popping out. "Please inform me immediately if I need to pull over."

"How are you feeling, Takaba?" I frowned.

"GREAT!"

I shrugged at Kirishima and got in beside Akihito.

Once we got moving I let Akihito know just how irritated I was with him. "That was ridiculous behavior on your part. Apparently you're too immature to go out for a drink with me." I looked at him and noticed he had a sickly look on his face.

"You're not looking too well. You're going to make my assistant very unhappy if you throw up in the limo." I pulled him close so he could lean against me.

He stayed still for a while and then said, "I don't feel sick. That's not what's bothering me." He sat up and twisted around to face me, almost falling into my lap. "Why did you ask me out this evening?"

"I wanted to see if you would keep humiliating yourself by pretending to be something you're not. You didn't disappoint me. It was quite entertaining."

He looked at me teary-eyed. I refused to feel remorseful about it considering how much he had embarrassed me at the bar, but I couldn't resist pulling him toward me to kiss his anguished face. He quickly brought his hand around and slapped me hard.

"I hate you!"

I already knew that. Still, hearing him say it as he looked me directly in the eyes stung more than the forceful slap he had just delivered with his hand.

"You have your way with me and then you just leave without even saying _goodbye_. You're a heartless bastard!"

So me leaving you after sex the other night _did_ bother you. Good!

But now I'm confused. You hate me, but yet you don't want me to leave after having sex with you. Maybe it's you that's confused.

"What is it that you want from me, Takaba?" I asked him wearily.

He grabbed my tie, pulling my face close to his. I could smell the whiskey on his breath as he whispered to me, "I want to know... how do you _honestly_ feel about me?"

I was unprepared for such a direct question as that. How do I honestly feel about you? I had to think about it. I looked into his eyes and felt my heart begin to quicken. It was the same strange feeling I had experienced earlier at the politician's house.

I see. I am beginning to fall for him.

Am I concerned about it? Not really. A little affection adds a pleasant dimension to sex as long as one keeps a tight reign over it. It's a temporary infatuation. I only need to maintain my power over him to control and subdue the feeling.

It explains the recent obsession that drew me to his place the other night.

I put my hand up to his face to caress it. He reached up, took a hold of my hand and then slipped my finger into his mouth, moaning softly as he tongued and sucked on it.

That was completely unexpected. I removed my finger so I could kiss him. He beat me to it by wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling my head down to his. He shoved his tongue eagerly into my mouth.

I was liking this new and unusual turn of events. Just as I began to wonder if he was also being moved by emotions, he pulled away and then straddled my lap, but with his back to me. He began wantonly grinding his ass against me.

This was another unusual thing for him to do. I reached around to feel between his legs and he had a full-on erection. "Yes... touch me there!" He began struggling to undo his belt.

So he was motivated by desire rather than emotion. It didn't really matter; I liked it just the same. I helped him to undo his pants. He yanked them down, struggling to get the tight jeans past his shoes. He finally managed to get one leg out and then he leaned back against me, grabbed my hand and placed it on his erection. Wetness leaked from the tip as soon as I began stroking him. He cried out vocalizing with a loud, "OHHH!", which caused me glance at the privacy window. It's solid black so nothing can be seen through it and it's supposed to be soundproof, but I had to wonder just how soundproof it actually was.

And then I realized I didn't really give a damn because I was not going to stop for any reason. After lubricating my fingers with his wetness, I slid them down to rub against his tight hole. He bent forward and lifted his ass up. He was actually inviting me to finger him? I slipped my fingers inside him and he moaned, telling me he wanted it right there... harder... faster.

Akihito with his inhibitions completely down, while allowing me to manipulate him as I pleased was tremendously gratifying. I stroked his slick erection, and thrust my fingers in and out of him as he loudly voiced his pleasure. I was really enjoying myself. He came hard, hitting both of us, and then he collapsed and promptly passed out, sprawling against me as his moans slowly diminished.

I pulled out my handkerchief so I could clean us up. When I tried swiping the cloth between his legs, his whole body twitched and he whimpered in pain. I imagine it had to be over-sensitive by this point. It was bright red from the intense stroking I had given it.

I looked down at this lewd creature of mine that was lying in my lap, and then pressed the intercom button to tell Kirishima to take us directly back to my place. There was no way I was finished with him yet.

Not even close.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

I brought him to my bed and undressed him slowly as I began devouring him. I didn't care that he was unconscious. Even in that state he reacted to my handling. Once I had him moaning, I plunged into him.

He woke up groggy and confused, trying to figure out where he was and what was happening to him. Once he did, he began protesting loudly. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"You asked how I felt. Do I feel good to you?"

"You were screwing me while I was unconscious?! That's rude!"

"What did you expect? You're the one who came on to me like a bitch in heat."

"I did?" I watched a blush cross his face. So he did remember a little bit. What will it be, Akihito? Courtesy or common sense?

"To leave me in this state after what you did would be rude," I told him. "So get on with it and finish what you started!"

He reluctantly embraced me, but embrace me he did. He was going to be quite sore by the time I was done with him.

**麻見 隆一**

_. _

Afterwards, he laid with his back against me under the covers. I was upright on my side, supporting myself with my elbow while looking down at his face and stroking his hair. His body was tensed like a coiled spring. I could tell he was waiting for me to fall asleep so he could sneak away. This after his drunken confession about how much he disliked me leaving him right after we had sex. What a strange relationship we have.

Relationship... he's like a lover to me now. It's clear I have a hold on him. He is mine whether he likes it or not. He performed as I desired, so I suppose I should let him leave.

If we had been at his place I might have decided to stay for the rest of the night, even trying to curl up with him on that tiny bed. He would likely be squirming against me uncomfortably all night because he'd be too timid to ask me to leave. If I could set him up in one of my places, I wonder if it would make it easier?

Put him up in one of my places... keep a man?

I've done it in the past with women, but a man? What an outrageous idea. Akihito would absolutely hate the idea of being kept. I could just imagine his reaction.

That thought was too good to resist, so I made the proposal. I couldn't even keep a straight face as I said it. His reaction went beyond my expectations.

He ranted and raved, and verbally abused me. He jumped out of bed and began furiously dressing himself and still his rant went on. No one within my organization would have ever dared to speak to me like that.

I loved listening to him giving me hell about it.

The best part of it was him making a vow that someday he would become richer than me and then he would keep _me_ in a condo for his own amusement.

"After watching you today, I can see you're well on your way to achieving that goal," I smirked at him.

That silenced him. He glared at me and stormed out of the room.

I heard the door slam, and then it occurred to me that I shouldn't have been so eager to chase him away.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

* * *

><p>This is all I have for now. If I continue this, then the next chapter will be about Hong Kong. Thank you for reading.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

_._

**思考 **

**A**t the present moment I am relaxing in a chair on the balcony with a drink beside me, looking out at the city lights of Tokyo. This is one of the techniques I use to clear my thoughts and help me relax after a trying day.

I begin by disengaging myself from all the disagreeable inconveniences that sprung up today- - difficulties with a supplier, a club employee caught stealing, a very persistent salesman that managed to corner me in the elevator; but once I have done that, one thought remains.

Akihito.

As I dealt with one situation after another today, Akihito never drifted far from my mind.

Each day my feelings toward him seem to grow stronger. I had considered seeking him out this evening so I could subdue the craving and bring it back under my control.

Except the last time I tried that, it didn't work. The craving increased. Isn't this characteristic of an addiction?

Rather than to seek him out, I should distance myself from him for a while until this feral hunger lessens. I'll give it a few weeks, and then I'll seek him out and renew my claim on him.

A simple solution for a simple problem.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

There was a report lying on my desk when I arrived at work today. It was the latest surveillance on Akihito. My assistant was going over my schedule with me for the day but it was difficult to concentrate on what he was saying. The presence of the report was irritating me.

The folder sat on my desk in front of me; tangible and glaring evidence of my obsession with Akihito. As soon as Kirishima and I finished discussing the day's agenda, I picked up the report and tossed it into the trash bin. "You can cease surveillance on Takaba," I told him.

Kirishima brought his hand up to his face to push his eyeglasses up. A subtle gesture that indicated I had caught him by surprise. "Yes sir, I'll see to it."

I worked in my office all afternoon keenly aware that the report sat in my trash bin. I could have had one of the secretaries empty the bin, but having it there was a good exercise in self-restraint. Proof that I am mastering this.

Glancing toward the trash bin, I could see the corner of the folder peeking out. Which is worse- - giving in to temptation or never having your curiosity satisfied?

Damn it.

I reached into the bin and pulled out the report.

There was nothing significant in it. Akihito had been hired to take photos of children at a daycare center. Later that evening, his friends had come over to his place to hang out and drink. There was an interesting bit about him trying to purchase something at a camera shop, but apparently they had sold out of what he had wanted. I should find out what it was and get it for him. Later of course, once this feeling of hunger diminishes.

The report also contained a few photographs that had been taken of him. I removed the pictures and locked them in a compartment inside my desk. I tossed the report back into the trash and called for a secretary to come empty it.

Out of sight, out of mind.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

Once again, I am relaxing in a chair with a drink in my hand. I am no closer than I was before to resolving the emotions that threaten to overtake me. It's not as easy as I thought it would be.

Akihito kept popping up in my mind even during the ride home. He's been in both limos with me now. I've also driven him myself twice. I suppose I could switch to one of the other cars, but that would be an indication of weakness if I went out of my way to avoid the cars he's ridden in.

I went out to the harbor to inspect a shipment today. My office at the warehouse- this is where I first took him. I had brought him there to punish him for meddling in my affairs, but somehow it didn't go as I had planned. The engineer was hoist with his own petard. What delicious irony.

And here in my own place there are strong reminders- - particularly having to do with my bed. Before, it had simply been a place to sleep. Now when I go to lie down I feel like something is missing.

It's not only sex I desire from Akihito. Something about him is calming and refreshing to my soul. I am energized just by his presence.

The more one denies themselves something they desire, the stronger the craving becomes. However, the significance behind my denial goes much deeper than a mere craving. And now I come down to the truth of it.

Denial and cowardice are one and the same.

I could waste time by looking back and wondering at what point he managed to wrap himself so tightly around my heart, but it doesn't matter. Why should I fear it? Is it really such a terrible thing? If I feel so strongly about Akihito, why don't I simply bring him to my side?

This is why- -

**夢**

I am standing on top of a mountain. Other people are standing on the slopes, a few just below me. Most are much farther down the slope, but I am at the very top. The main problem is that just behind me is a dark, bottomless void. Just one small step back and I will fall. Another problem is the ground I am standing on constantly shifts beneath my feet. I must adjust my stance when necessary to maintain my balance.

I've become quite skilled at it, as I've been doing this for years. I know eventually a wrong step will cause me to fall, but I have a while longer yet. I look down and see Akihito's large determined eyes looking up at me. Somehow he has made his way up the treacherous slope and is now clinging to the ledge I am standing on.

What am I going to do? I must make up my mind quickly before he loses his grip and slides back down out of my sight.

I'd be sacrificing the extra space that allows me to keep my balance with relative ease, but it would certainly be nice to have someone to keep me company in this lonely and cold place. I reach down to offer him my hand. He is reluctant to try to take it because to do so might cause him to lose his hold on the ledge, so I roughly grab him by one of his hands and pull him up.

Once he's beside me, I realize how precarious my balancing act has become. It's challenging, but if I hold him close to me it should be possible for us to find balance together. However, Akihito has no experience with this and he stubbornly refuses to let me hold onto him. There is barely enough room up here for both of us. He's going to end up falling into the void.

He takes a small step back to keep me from trying to wrap my arms around him, but this causes him to lose his balance. A shocked look flashes across Akihito's face.

I could just let him fall. It is the law of nature that only the strongest should survive. Or I could grab him and swing him back around. It would save him, but the momentum would cause me to fall.

There is no question this is what I must do. I reach out to grab him and successfully swing him back to the safety of the narrow ledge. Now it is me who is losing my balance. I realize it's his fault that I am going to fall, which triggers a surge of anger in me. I decide if it's inevitable I am going down, I will not fall alone. Instead I tighten my grip on him and yank him over the edge with me.

I feel my whole body jerk as my bed suddenly catches me.

The meaning behind this dream is clear. My lifestyle is not compatible with having a personal relationship. It would be supremely selfish of me to drag him into the complexities of my life. There would be too many dangers for him with the kind of life I lead. If he was willing to follow the strict rules I would need to lay down for him it could possibly work, but I doubt he's the type who would abide by the restrictions.

And the most disturbing element of all- - I had pulled him with me into the abyss. It's possible that my very nature, the chaotic beast inside me that I've spent so much energy to successfully control would break loose and destroy him in the end.

I should not attempt to bring him to my side. I should let him go.

No. He is mine.

I will _never_ give him up.

Contemplating all these thoughts, I realize how much power that dyed-haired brat has over me. That's not even the most concerning thing.

The most concerning thing is that a perverse part of me likes that.

What would he do if he knew?

He will never know. And I will figure out a way to hold onto him and still keep him at a safe distance.

One piece of mail I received today was about this year's International Symposium on Business and Management to be held at the Sheraton Bay Hotel, along with a request for me to be a speaker at one of the seminars. This conference is actually a three-day event, but there were only two other seminars I had originally planned on attending. I've decided that I will attend all three days and book a room at the hotel for its duration. A change of routine and scenery is long overdue.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

Surprisingly, attending every seminar kept me quite busy. I had also received a message that my trade partner in Hong Kong, a man by the name of Cho, was here in Japan for a week. He wanted to speak with me personally about some matter. I sent a response requesting that he contact me at the hotel so that we could arrange for a time and place to meet.

It was only at night that I really had time to think about Akihito. Finally acknowledging my feelings for him seemed to calm much of the turmoil I had been experiencing. My mind felt clearer than it had in days, which led me to wonder why I had been getting so worked up over such a ridiculous thing in the first place?

As I sat pondering this, I heard my phone ring. Picking it up, I saw the caller was Takaba Akihito.

Akihito is calling me?

I answered and heard Akihito's nervous voice on the other end. "It's me... um... you know who, right? I have to see you..."

Akihito was asking to see me. And I really wanted to see him. I told him where he could find me and he said he would be there as soon as possible.

I called up one of the men who had been assigned to me during my hotel stay. "Takaba Akihito is on his way to see me. Make sure you let him through."

I lit a cigarette and waited for Akihito's arrival.

**麻見 隆一**

_._

* * *

><p><strong>"The engineer was hoist with his own petard"<strong>- (a quote from W. Shakespeare's _Hamlet_) literally, the bomb maker was blown up by his own bomb. To be caught by your own trap.

**Delicious irony**- Asami finds it amusing that the outcome from his actions toward Takaba turned out turned out to be the opposite of what he had intended.

Thanks for the comments and feedback. Also, my thanks to those who gave me the encouragement to tackle the Hong Kong story. This story probably would have ended with the last chapter if not for that.


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